I haven’t done one of these since last year, so I’m long overdue to skewer the sartorial choices of Hollywood. Below are our lovely contestants. If you pause over each picture you’ll see the name of each contender. Shall we begin?
I have to say, most of the celebs at the People’s Choice Awards were well dressed, if not a little boring. But that’s understandable- the best and worst dressed lists and shows out there can be really mean. I try to just be a little mean.
Fuck
Ashley Tisdale
I’m really not a fan, although Wildcats is on its way to becoming a guilty pleasure. And her tan is terrifying and well into oompa-loompa territory. But the spring-y colors of her dress and delicate fabric are a nice antithesis to the winter season. Yes, I know they’re in California. Shut up.
Kaley Cuoco
This dress has been seen on various celebs in various iterations. So she’s not winning points for originality. And her tan is also cheeto-esque. But it’s a pretty dress and the bangle worn high on her forearm is a nice touch. Also, the red lipstick is lovely on her.
Marry
Malin Ackerman
This is really not a typical award event dress, but it looks great on her, her skin tone is at least close to the one she was born with and her accessories are great. She’s a winner in my book. Watchmen, however, still sucks.
Vanessa Williams
My inner ferret loooves her sparkles. And I’m convinced she can teach me dark magic. How else can you explain her inability to age?
Kill
Raven Simone
On Saturday mornings I tend to be a little lazy. Especially if the morning started off with french toast. So I usually end up watching the Disney cartoon line-up. And I like it! The Emperor’s New School, The Replacements- great cartoons. And then That’s So Raven comes on. And I will throw cats out of my way, toss computers off my lap, and generally cause chaos to change the channel before the theme song kicks in. It’s so annoying. The show is so terrible. Which has nothing to do with her outfit, except that it is also TERRIBLE. Does anyone else look at it and immediately think “Edgar Allen Poe. The Raven. Great Poem. Shitty Embodiment of said raven.” No? Okay.
Alyson Michalka
You were delightful in Easy A. And your curls are very shiny and bouncy on Wildcats. But you look silly and kinda whore-y. I really can’t find anything redeeming about this outfit. Well, your hair is still shiny.
Honorable Mention
Pauley Perrette
Your support of the NO H8 campaign is awesome and I don’t even feel like the logo ruins the dress! Also, the top fits you very well and it is hard to pull off a strapless dress. Yay you!
And your thoughts?
